Fashion can seem like a vain endeavor.
I promise you for me, it is not.
I LOVE fashion.
I love my husband.
I love putting effort into how I look, as a means to show my husband I’m still his. I’ve still got it. And I still want (you). (PS – see leather leggings. Husbands swoon for these).
In the trenches of motherhood, time for ourselves, and our appearance, is oftentimes one of the first things to go (read: boomerang bodies and stretch marks). My heart is that we can raise our children (Jen Hatmaker says to set your bar low – just shoot for an okay childhood, and if JH says it, then it shall be), while fighting to not lose ourselves.
Or our marriages.
Or the flame in our marriages.
Okay so fashion isn’t your thing? No prob – that’s what my job is for you. The point is to try to save the best for last (as in, the end of your day that you actually get to “relax”).
While although my husband still pledges his love and attraction for me at all stages, he definitely does NOT complain when he strolls through the door after a long day at work, and I’m in some cute little booties and jeans that fit my current body (not my pre-baby body, or 5 sizes ago body…as my body adjusts, it’s necessary for my closet to as well. And there ain’t no shame in that).
Or maybe before said husband descends upon the compound at night, you can run up and squirt just a hint of his favorite perfume (this is my latest fave) on so that it shows you’ve put forth a little bit of effort.
For me, I’ve realized that when I’m in clothes that I feel good about, my confidence is up and that is what is MOST attractive to my husband. I want to feel good in what I’m wearing.
I want to feel attractive.
And I wholeheartedly believe, that regardless of your body type, how many kids you’ve created, or how much money you have, putting some small effort into your appearance will take you MILES in your marriage.
People always say that mothering through the little years is mothering in the trenches. And that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel post-little years. I’ve always joked that the little years just might do me in, and I won’t get to see those beloved “family years” that everyone speaks of like the unicorn of Narnia.
But getting up a little early in the morning, pouring an extra big glass of coffee and taking 10 minutes to put together an outfit rather than a non-working-out-yoga-pant-uniform, goes a million miles in my productivity, my marriage and my self-confidence for the day. (Also, I’m not talking like full beauty treatment every morning – ain’t no one got time for that. I wash my hair AT BEST every 4 days. Thank you dry shampoo).
I’ve learned to lean into this in recent months. Maybe I can help just one mom get her mojo back if child-rearing has confiscated that hot little sex kitten that you used to be. I know that romance used to exist in your marriage at one point.
That’s my heart behind the fashion stuff. It is not a means to collect more stuff (see: capsule wardrobe), or spend your money chasing after things.
My heart for you is to spend a few minutes taking care of yourself. I want you to feel good about how you look. Because I believe that it will have a multitude of other positive effects that overflow into all aspects of your marriage and life.
And who knows, maybe some day we’ll have a whole cohort of women running around saying that a little lipgloss (this one in particular) and some leather leggings saved their sanity, and their marriage. 😉