As I’ve been showing you glimpses of some of the “after” shots of our beautiful remodel this week, it was weighing on my heart to also share a bit of the honesty of a remodel.
One thing I am not is a phony. If I’m going to spend my time sharing with you, I want you to know that I’m being honest and authentic. And that my life is ANYTHING but pretty, semi-staged, pictures.
Remodeling is hard.
And I’m talking not like physically hard (there is that too of course), but more the emotional toll it takes on you as a family.
Actually, I won’t speak for you. I’ll speak for us. Remodeling was really hard ON us.
We bit off a lot. At times, it felt like way more than we could chew. We had never REMODELED before. And this was a TON of work.
All of the advice from various friends and industry professionals that we sought out in the beginning, failed to articulate (or we didn’t know to ask!) all that we would have to sacrifice for basically the duration of the project.
No one mentioned that we’d have to sacrifice most any of our “free” time (with three littles that’s very little as it is). We had no idea that we wouldn’t have emotional capacity to host, entertain, gather and invest in the relationships that we so cherish. Hell, we hardly had anything left to give one another.
My kids had to entertain themselves basically the entire summer. Mommy was busy scouring Houzz, looking on Pinterest and sourcing faucets and drains.
We had hired help for a good amount during the week, but their time with Mom and Dad was A LOT of “Go Play, we need to do”…[insert one of the 5 billion decisions/problem-solving scenarios we were responsible to solve].
Don’t get me wrong, this was most definitely the realization of a big dream of ours. We’ve always wanted to gut a house and make it our own. I think we just didn’t know that it would come with such a high emotional cost.
So many tears. My mental health was questionable at best (which PS NO ONE talks about).
Our marriage had A LOT of tension on it. We were both pushed to our very max. Burning the candle at both ends, spending hours upon hours before the kids woke up in the morning and after they went to bed just pouring over each tiny decision required for a true custom home.
I am grateful for the village that we had during a couple of those months. The final push though was the hardest by far. Having no home base, limited stability, kids in chaos, made for super out of control circumstances (it felt like).
With it behind us, I am now learning how to find peace even in the chaos. I choose to unpack boxes that say “Decor” on them, just because some days after this long journey, I just need a win.
My weaknesses were shown time and again through this process. It’s fitting now that I am doing a great study on peace. Because after 6 months of utter chaos, my heart needs peace. And rest.
Remodeling is not for the faint of heart.
And I love before and after pictures just as much as the next Joanna Gaines. I want this blog, and this space to be one that inspires you to create custom spaces for your family to be loved in and memories to be made. I want to pay it forward.
But I want you to know that it did not come easy. And did not come without a price (and I’m talking more than dollar signs).
It is finally now that I can stand back and be proud of the work that we did. The space that we created. The life that we dreamt up.
It only felt right though just to let you know, that our life is merely snippets of beauty in the chaos. We don’t have it all together. We are not remodel professionals. And despite how easy a ‘before and after’ shot makes something look, know that it was a labor love. That each detail was hand chosen and curated.
And this labor of love is one that we are utterly and completely grateful for.